Hey Alls,
So I’m trying this new thing all the kids be talking about: Writing on the Interwebs and stuff. You might have seen me do it from time to time. I tend to ramble and be silly and weird… and do it much less often than I should in my opinion. Thus, I’m making a pact to write at least one entry a day, be it short or be it long(er). If you see some of the entries are password-protected, ask and you shall (might) receive.
I understand the entire question of “If you didn’t want it made public, than why would you put it on your PUBLIC blog?”
To keep it short and sweet: I don’t care. This is where I want my blog, this is where I want to write, be silly, be serious and sometimes, password-protect my sh*t.
And on to your sporatically-scheduled blogging…
So yeah, we’re still in Florida. I just got my Florida driver’s license and tags and am officially driving legally. In fact, I’d say I’m one of the best drivers in the state. No, really. You think KC drivers freak out when it rains or snows…There are sites devoted to the fecal-fest that is Florida Driving.
Just to give you a hint of what goes on down here, here are some rules and guidelines for Florida driving:
1) You can only really drive in the middle lane of traffic. I.E. if there are three lanes of traffic going any direction, you are better off staying in the middle lane AT ALL TIMES. No one in the “fast” or “slow” lanes knows where they’re going, so they will drive at least 20 mph under the freakin’ speed limit while they try to find the one Italian restaurant they want to go to. (Note: There are a million Italian restaurants down here. If you don’t like the pizza at one place, just cross the street. Some good pizza, I’ll say, but that’s another post altogether.)
2) All lanes are free-range for swerving. No one is safe. Those dotted lines can’t hold anyone back!
3) Blinkers, also known as turn signals to some, are not necessary. People will get out of your way, right? Oh wait, no… maybe THAT’s another reason Florida car insurance is so freaking high…
4) Road rage is not uncommon. It’s like a whole bunch of people with hardass East Coast attitudes have been given more space on the open road to ACT on aggression. I’ve never been to New York or Boston or anywhere in the Northeast for that matter, so I know this might be presumptuous… BUT REALLY…people chase each other down across three lanes of traffic in the middle of freakin’ Pompano Beach. Pompano Beach! A suburb! It’s like Need for Speed IV: Snowbirds Edition.
Hey, we do live near an airport…
5) Honk. For any reason. In fact, when it doubt, honk. People honk if they’re frustrated with a car four cars in front of them, people honk if a pedestrian who has the right-of-way (you know, the “WALK” signal) crosses the street when cars want to turn right on red. I’ve actually contemplated entering every intersection honking, regardless of whether or not I had a green light, just to feel like I fit in.
I’d hate to start a Need for Speed chase, however. Depends on how the points system works and if I can get some decals and a sweet sponsorship for the Fit. Missy’s Fit. I could call it the MisFit. Ha.
(Okay, done.)
